Oh, I don't just mean the barely raising your voice "BOO!" kind of scare. I mean the horrible, sudden and without warning, full-on, mask-wearing, jump from the shadows of a summer night, monster-growling "GRRRAAAA!!!" kind of scare.
He's famous for it. Neighborhood children feared him. Really.
And then there was the time he asked me to hold a picture against the wall for him so he could judge the placement. As I turned my back to dutifully hold the frame in place, he poked me in my side with his finger while simultaneously pulling the trigger on his electric drill with his other hand.
You should've seen me climb the wall. (For the record, I never dropped the picture!)
I take after my dad in the area of scaring people. My best friend, Stephanie, came by for a visit the evening of the "Drill Incident" (as I like to call it). Prior to her arrival, I begged dad to do it to her, too. He did. She screamed and collapsed into a heap on the floor. (I'm so sorry, Steph - it truly is a wonder you still consider me your BFA&F!)
I learned well at the feet of the master and it didn't take long for the tradition to continue once I had children. I waited until they were old enough to truly appreciate the experience. You know, like two-years-old.
Oh, sure... it started out innocently enough with the smiley-faced "Boo's!" but quickly progressed to the jumping out from behind doors with a slightly louder, more emphatic "BOO!!!" - arm gestures and appropriate posturing included at no additional charge.
It was all fun and games until I saw a news report about a mother who had done the same thing to her son. And it killed him. I kid you not. Turns out, the little guy had an undiagnosed heart condition and the shock literally stopped his heart.
Well, alrighty then. Who needs that kind of guilt? Not me! So I laid off the scaring of the children. For awhile. Months, I'm sure. Addictions across generations are the hardest to break, you know.
I'm pleased to report that we've come full circle with this family
I took the kiddos with me to Sam's Club last night for dinner and a little shopping. (Oh, come on... you know you eat at Sam's and Costco for dinner sometimes, too!) They quickly tired of following me around and informed me that I could find them relaxing on the furniture display when I was finished walking the aisles.
As I hurried down one of the aisles nearest the back corner of the store, I noticed that it was getting close to closing time and there weren't many shoppers left in the store. I paused mid-aisle to mentally calculate the cost-per-jar of various spaghetti sauces when "The Near Mugging" happened. Two hands shoved me squarely in the back, throwing me into the handle bar of the shopping cart while a deep, growling voice yelled, "GGGRRRAAA!!!" (Thank goodness for the shopping cart because my own two legs wouldn't have supported me.) I turned to defend myself against the attacker while preparing to scream. There stood my two offspring - both doubled over in laughter.
"We got you!"
"You should've seen your face!"
"You jumped so bad!"
So, if you hear a news report about a middle-aged woman dieing from a heart attack following a scare - please send flowers to the funeral. And get my kids some counseling before they harm another generation with this addiction tradition.
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| They look so innocent, don't they? |
