Burrito. Kiddo numero uno. My "by the rules" kid. Serious. Self-motivated. And he apparently has a deep, sick sense of humor - the likes of which are just now being revealed.
Picture it... I'm home alone. Enjoying the quiet and the companionship of my furball, Max. Just hangin' out doing my stay-at-home mom duties when the cell phone rings. Not a Prince Charming ring tone. Not a kiddo ring tone. Ahhh... a school prefix number. I chuckle to myself wondering which kiddo I'll find on the other end of the line and what paper/book/notebook/project/permission slip was forgotten this morning.
"This is Mrs. O from Your Local High School. Is this Mrs. W?" Burrito's Enhanced Spanish 2 teacher. Her voice is pleasant enough. I'm not worried yet - the academic awards assembly is next week and I'm just certain she's calling to let me know that Burrito has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize!
"I'm calling to let you know that I had to write up Burrito in class today and he'll be staying after school for detention. I tried to give him several chances but he continued to be disrespectful to me and I just can't allow that." Okay, so she didn't call him Burrito. She actually used his given name. The real point here is that I was so stunned she could have said anything after that statement and it would not have registered with my shell-shocked brain. Burrito??? Forget homework? Maybe. Unprepared for a test? Not likely. Disrespectful? Unfathomable.
She continued with the details. "Using the laptops in class... blah, blah, blah... surfing the net... told him to stop... blah, blah, blah... did it again... blah, blah, blah. He is very upset so I'll let him talk to you now."
"Hi, Mom." His silence followed by my silence. The electrical impulses in my brain are firing erratically and I can't form a complete thought. Finding it hard to breathe. Numbness in my lips and tongue. Losing my peripheral vision. Is this what a stroke feels like? Finally, I choke out one word, "Burrito?" A little more silence. "Did she tell you, Mom?" Still silence. I wouldn't know what to say even if my brain were functioning properly.
Apparently, even Burrito was beginning to wonder if I was having a stroke. "Hey, Mom? Are you still there?" I need to sit down. Again, the one word answer, "Yes."
At this point, Burrito begins to laugh. Not a normal laugh. Bordering on hysterical. I'm trying to regain control of my misfiring brain. It's becoming obvious we're both going to need medical attention. "Mom? April Fool!!!" The maniacal laughing continues. It's not just Burrito now. Mrs. O and the entire class have joined in the fray.
That's okay. You know what they say about paybacks. Did I mention that Mrs. O lives in our neighborhood and I know which house is hers? Oh, yes.
P.S. - I hope they pull that same prank on a few more unsuspecting parents. (And, I guess that would explain where kiddo numero uno gets that sick sense of humor.)
Picture it... I'm home alone. Enjoying the quiet and the companionship of my furball, Max. Just hangin' out doing my stay-at-home mom duties when the cell phone rings. Not a Prince Charming ring tone. Not a kiddo ring tone. Ahhh... a school prefix number. I chuckle to myself wondering which kiddo I'll find on the other end of the line and what paper/book/notebook/project/permission slip was forgotten this morning.
"This is Mrs. O from Your Local High School. Is this Mrs. W?" Burrito's Enhanced Spanish 2 teacher. Her voice is pleasant enough. I'm not worried yet - the academic awards assembly is next week and I'm just certain she's calling to let me know that Burrito has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize!
"I'm calling to let you know that I had to write up Burrito in class today and he'll be staying after school for detention. I tried to give him several chances but he continued to be disrespectful to me and I just can't allow that." Okay, so she didn't call him Burrito. She actually used his given name. The real point here is that I was so stunned she could have said anything after that statement and it would not have registered with my shell-shocked brain. Burrito??? Forget homework? Maybe. Unprepared for a test? Not likely. Disrespectful? Unfathomable.
She continued with the details. "Using the laptops in class... blah, blah, blah... surfing the net... told him to stop... blah, blah, blah... did it again... blah, blah, blah. He is very upset so I'll let him talk to you now."
"Hi, Mom." His silence followed by my silence. The electrical impulses in my brain are firing erratically and I can't form a complete thought. Finding it hard to breathe. Numbness in my lips and tongue. Losing my peripheral vision. Is this what a stroke feels like? Finally, I choke out one word, "Burrito?" A little more silence. "Did she tell you, Mom?" Still silence. I wouldn't know what to say even if my brain were functioning properly.
Apparently, even Burrito was beginning to wonder if I was having a stroke. "Hey, Mom? Are you still there?" I need to sit down. Again, the one word answer, "Yes."
At this point, Burrito begins to laugh. Not a normal laugh. Bordering on hysterical. I'm trying to regain control of my misfiring brain. It's becoming obvious we're both going to need medical attention. "Mom? April Fool!!!" The maniacal laughing continues. It's not just Burrito now. Mrs. O and the entire class have joined in the fray.
That's okay. You know what they say about paybacks. Did I mention that Mrs. O lives in our neighborhood and I know which house is hers? Oh, yes.
P.S. - I hope they pull that same prank on a few more unsuspecting parents. (And, I guess that would explain where kiddo numero uno gets that sick sense of humor.)
1 comment:
I think its time for a good old fashioned "rolling"! Go get the cheap toilet paper and roll away.
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